Quote of the Day 0
I honestly think it’s [homosexuality] the biggest threat our nation has, even more so than terrorism or Islam.”
-Rep. Sally Kern (R - Oklahoma City)
A Gay 2
While reading this excellent post at Aunt B’s, a “related, but not quite on topic enough with her post to leave it as a comment there” kind of thought occurred to me.
Using “gay” as a noun offends me, though I have no idea why it does. I’ll happily acknowledge that “I am gay” or that “I am a gay man,” but you’d never hear me say that “I am a gay.” In fact my skin crawls a bit just typing it. Even when I know for a fact the speaker is not intending to be offensive, it makes me uncomfortable (I’ve been in that situation a few times and didn’t comment to the person using the term because I can’t think of a good reason they shouldn’t use it).
Reflecting on it now, I wonder if it doesn’t have something to do with the idea that my gay orientation is only a part of who I am, and that using the adjective as a noun somehow implies that it is ALL that I am. At the same time, that explanation seems to fall a bit short because I am A graphic designer; I am A son; I am A boyfriend; I am A brother; etc. On the other hand “graphic designer,” “son,” “boyfriend,” “brother,” etc are not and cannot be used as adjectives, so maybe therein lies the difference. I’m not sure. Seems a little weak to me, but it’s an interesting thought experiment nonetheless.
Meanwhile the phrase “gays and lesbians” doesn’t bother me in the least. Go figure.
2 Responses to “A Gay”
Only? 0
I have little to add to what Kip has to say about “journalist” John Cloud’s response to the murder of gay 8th grader Larry King except perhaps this:
John Cloud would be better to be shocked that only 82% of gay students can go to school free of being physically attacked than to be relieved that “only” 18% suffer that fate.
Motive ‘Not Known’ 3
When I saw this at A Stitch in Haste, I didn’t really think too much of it, other than it being sad, but I haven’t been able to get it out of my head and, the more I think about it, the more I’ve been getting more angry over the media’s treatment of it. Fifteen year old Lawrence King was raced to the hospital Tuesday where he was decalred brain-dead after being shot in the head by a fellow 8th grade classmate. The motive?
“It appears to be kind of a personal thing between these two students,” he [police spokesman David Keith] said Tuesday. “Some kind of beef.”
Police have not alleged a motive for the shooting, but said there appeared to have been “bad blood” between the teens.
Investigators have not released a motive for the shooting. [Joel] Lovstedt [E.O. Green Junior High School Principal] says that King was often the subject of teasing. He had been targeted by bullies in the past. Students say the victim was often picked on for the way he dressed.
Only one media source sees fit to mention the most obvious motive for the crime.
Some students said the victim, whose name was not disclosed, sometimes wore makeup and feminine jewelry and had declared himself gay. They said he was frequently taunted by other boys and had been involved in an argument with the alleged shooter, an eighth-grader who also was not named, and others Monday.
It’s general knowledge around the school that he was regularly picked on for being gay, yet only one media source thought that might be a relevant fact to bring up after he was murdered by a classmate. Why the cover-up? I’m tempted to think, it’s because the soccer moms (and news readers) out there don’t like to be made to realize that their kids are noticing when they slap those “Marriage=1 Man + 1 Woman” bumper stickers on their minivans and SUVs. Anti-gay bigotry is not “bad blood,” it’s not “some kind of beef” and it’s certainly not “a personal thing between these two students.” It’s bigger than that, and this shooting is just the symptom of it. It’s easier for a certain segment of the population if this is nothing more than “a personal thing between these two students” because then there’s nothing they could have done. They can go about their lives guilt-free, never stopping to consider the message they are sending to their kids whenever they take an opportunity to demonize gay people. Eighth-graders don’t develop murder-provoking hatred on their own. It has to be taught to them, either intentionally or otherwise.
And it’s taught to them when adults utter sentiments like that of abc7.com commenter tabby789 (click the third news link above and scroll down):
well i do belive every one certainly have the right of speach and to presant them selves as they see their own slfe.. but to encourage the dressing and the high hills was a bit much, this poor boy had a rough life and for the school to continue to encourage this young person to but him self on the line day in and day out was also wrong. the bulliy that did the crime should of never played god to correct this young boy but there are more people for the blame.[sic] (emphasis mine)
According to tabby, the only real problem here is who “corrected” the boy. And the real blame goes to the folks who encouraged the boy to be himself.
As an aside, any idea who Jocelyn Salinas is? She’s not mentioned in any of the articles yet all but one of them use her photo as the story visual.
3 Responses to “Motive ‘Not Known’”
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The captions say simply that young Miss Salinas is a student at the school.
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Yeah, I saw that, it just seems odd to me that each news organization would have chosen different pictures of the exact same girl for their stories.
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“Police Have Not Alleged a Motive for the Shooting…”
So says the Associated Press:A 15-year-old boy who was shot in the head at school was declared brain dead Wednesday but was kept on a ventilator for possible…
National Coming Out Day 3
Today is the 20th anniversary of National Coming Out Day.
Coming out is not walking up to your friends and family and saying “hey, I’m gay.” Don’t get me wrong, that CAN be part of it, but coming out is something bigger than that. Coming out is accepting an aspect of who you are. It’s taking that acceptance and incorporating that aspect of yourself into the whole so you can live as a complete person. It’s, eventually, acknowledging that part of yourself to others so that they can choose whether or not you, the real you, is someone they can accept.
While typically we hear the term used with respect to, and indeed the day is largely devoted to, the GLBT community, I don’t think coming out is limited to any specific group of people. We all have things in our lives that we ought to accept and embrace as being an integral part of ourselves. With that in mind, take the time to celebrate National Coming Out Day, regardless of your sexual orientation.
3 Responses to “National Coming Out Day”
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HAPPY NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY!
Here’s a great contribution from two lesbian women to commemorate the National Coming Out Day:
The Ultimate Coming Out - Wow!
You can also go directly to FaithoftheAbomination.com. Their story will be told in a documentary film. I feel this will be groundbreaking for the GLBT community. -
Absolutely Amazing Post! I love how you made “Coming Out” relevant to everyone without regard to sexual orientation. I think sometimes we tend to forget that most everyone has a part within them that they either refuse to admit or try to hide from others because of fear of rejection. Thank-you!
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We all have things in our lives that we ought to accept and embrace as being an integral part of ourselves. With that in mind, take the time to celebrate National Coming Out Day, regardless of your sexual orientation.
I think I might be a libertarian.
Just a Phase 0
Marriage Equality in Iowa 3
An Iowa district court ruled Thursday that same-sex couples can marry based on the state constitution’s guarantee of equal treatment, court documents show.
art.marriage.gi.jpgAn Iowa district judge ruled in favor of same-sex marriage.The ruling was in response to a December 2005 lawsuit brought by six same-sex couples seeking to wed. They were denied marriage licenses and claimed such treatment violates equal-protection and due-process clauses in the Iowa constitution.The court also struck down a state law declaring valid marriages are only between a man and woman.
Always good to hear about a positive advancement in the fight for marriage equality, but there’s something beyond just this one case in this story. I checked most of the major news sites, and while on the front page, this story is merely a footnote mixed in with other miscellaneous headlines about what is going on in the world (even FoxNews whose entire focus is on the issues that rile up the GOP base!). What does that mean? Well, it could simply be a matter of this being a district court decision not a high court decision so it will certainly be appealed. But think back a couple of years. Had a state begun granting marriage licenses to same-sex couples, even if the ruling was not necessarily a permanent fixture, it would have been splashed all over the front page in bold headlines with colorful rainbow and wedding band graphics.
I’m thrilled by the decision, but I think the most telling part of it is the lack of interest by the general public. It may be early to be thinking this way yet, but it’s looking like straight America is no longer so scared of marriage equality. It’s been a fact of life in Massachusetts for almost 4 years and none of the right-wing predictions of doom have come to fruitation. Fear is no longer working, and people are getting bored with the idea that marriage must be “protected” from other loving couples. THAT is good news indeed.
Update: In a move that surprised no one, the judge has put a stay on his ruling until the appeal has been resolved. One couple managed to squeak through however, so there is one married same-sex couple in Iowa.
3 Responses to “Marriage Equality in Iowa”
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I am about sick of hearing about what people can and can not do in the freedom of the United States.
I am a straight married man, but I would like to ask this country one question…
Who are you to have the right to say who can or can not love someone? We have enough shit to worry about in this country, leave the bullshit be and let who ever marry who ever. Its a peice of paper.. Its binding their relationship, NOT YOURS! None of you have to live with them. Be friends with them, or even have to know them.
How would you hipercrits like it if it was a law and society had the right to tell you, you couldn’t marry your wife, husband, etc… Put the shoe on the other foot and think long and hard of how you would feel about the situation, that society had the right to run your life… WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO FREEDOM OF SPEECH? Same sex marriages is a form of freedom of speech. Just like when you married the one your cheating on, was a freedom of speech.
Like I said, I am straight but I do have alot of respect for the homosexuals in this world. And I do hold alot of compassion and sympathy for them, knowing they are trying to live a normal happy life and they have idiots like our government and society standing in their livingrooms, bedrooms, and love lives, telling them what they can and can not do….Work on getting a president worth a damn to run this country and leave the innocent civilians along.
That’s what is wrong with this country today.. Society is filled with ignorant people who are the main cause of violence and drug abuse. Its people like you who are the reasons there is so much crime in this world.
I say, shut up! Mind your own freaking business and let the people in this country be who they are.. They are not hurting a damn soul. Nobody said you had to sleep with them, eat with them, work with them, or talk to them.. But it would make “Society a little bit more easier to cope with and deal with…Dont ya think?
After all, I am sure, your sorry asses wouldnt be in office right now if it wasnt for alot of those gays voting for you.. I know I have no respect for ya, so I didnt vote for you ignorant assholes who do better work under their desks.
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One more thing! If you are so concerned about the lives of others and hatred runs through your blood stream so thickly, then hate on the fact of low wages for your hard working civilians. Hate on the foreigners coming across the boarder and steeling the American jobs away from the American people. Dont hate on what we do have here, hate on what we dont have!! FREEDOM!!!!!!!!
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Great post, dolphin.
There was a moment when I felt like there might be a change in this world that is more involved with political appearances that with the human spirit.
I was, and am usually, wrong about it.
Same-sex marriage.
I won’t see it in my lifetime, I’m afraid, and it makes me very sad.When I read about Loraine Barr this morning, I was reduced to tears.
When will this world learn that people are just people.
They won’t, I’m afraid.Here’s the story and forgive me for linking to myself.
http://newscoma.wordpress.com/2007/09/02/the-story-of-loraine-barr/
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March 3rd, 2008
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March 3rd, 2008
[...] Edited to add: Dolphin makes a good and similar point about “a gay.” [...]