Dolphin’s Dock

About three years ago, TheBoyfriend™ was teaching at a residential “last chance” school when he had to confiscate a kitten from one of his students. The kitten was so young as to not even keep her eyes open consistently at the time, but attempts to track down the mother failed so we brought her home to live with us until we could find her a good home. Until that time though we had a kitten so young she had to be bottle-fed and stimulated to go to the bathroom (very young kittens need a mother to lick their genitals to get them to go; a damp wash cloth fills in nicely for human parents).

Surprisingly, even as she moved on to solid food and was able to go the litter box on her own, we could still find no one who wanted to adopt this adorable little kitten. We had a few “almost” adoptions, but nobody ended up taking her. Eventually she was old enough to get a FIV/Feline Leukemia test done and she entered the general population at our house.

She never did quite mesh with Hobbes and Gryphon. They tolerated her but while they’d hang out together, she was always the odd one out. I assume it’s because they had bonded with each other from a young age and now she was impeding on “their” turf. But still she did her own thing and seemed mostly content and loved finding a good lap to sit in. So, while we maintained that we’d like for her to go to a good home, we stopped actively looking and she more or less became one of our cats.

She’d always been so bold and fearless that we were a little surprised that she was the most skittish of all them when we got the dog. The others would stand up to him at least some of the time (it should be noted that Zeke has never shown the first sign of aggression towards any of the cats, he just runs up to them wanting to play), but she’d always run unless cornered in which case she’d squeeze herself as tightly into the corner as possible, put her ears back, and make a timid attempt at a swat.

Since we’ve had the dog, she’s taken to spending most of her time hiding out in the bathroom closet. That’s no life for her so we once again started actively hunting down a new home for her. This time we found one. One of TheBoyfriend™’s (now former) co-workers has a cat, but he feels like it is lonely while he’s at work all day. So he agreed to adopt Sigyn, giving his cat a playmate and Sigyn a home without a dog. I geniunely think it’s a good thing. I’m hopeful that she will get along well with his current cat (once it adjusts to her being there), since that cat is by itself right now and so hasn’t ever bonded with another cat. Further, his parents will be moving in with him in the next few months so she will always have people around her, even if she never quite clicks with the other cat. Most importantly she won’t have a dog terrorizing her all the time. I think it’ll be a tough few weeks for her to get adjusted but I think she’ll be happier there than she’s been here lately.

Still, it was tough to let go of a living creature that I’d raised from such an incredibly young age. I’m expecting pictures once she gets settled in to her new home. I think it’s a good move, but I’m still very sad to see her go.

I mentioned a couple posts back that TheBoyfriend™’s place of employment was a casualty of city budget cuts. I say his place of employment rather than his job because his job was federal grant funded so that money didn’t get cut per se, only they have to send it back since they will no longer have a facility at which to operate the grant-funded program. Ironically, he accepted the job he is now losing because, being funded by a federal grant, it was supposedly definitely secure for a minimum of three years when the grant would be up for renewal.

It’s increasingly looking like his next job is going to be a police officer. He actually applied to the police department prior to his current job but got told at the time that they were only hiring academy grads (obviously) and there wasn’t a new academy scheduled. Well that’s changed. There’s now an academy scheduled for this summer (July? I think.). While the city’s website suggests there’s only one officer position open, we have the inside scoop that there are actually 11, not counting any who may have submitted their retirement paperwork prior to last Friday’s deadline. He’s already done very well on the written test, his agility test is scheduled for Tuesday, his resume has been described as “impressive” by the police department, not to mention we have a friend on the force and several of TheBoyfriend™’s current co-workers are buddies with the chief (so good words being put in all around). It’d be foolish to say it’s a sure thing, but it’s looking like the obvious course. It’d also mean no break in paychecks, because, should he be hired, he’d be given a civilian job in the department until the academy and the academy pays a wage while he attends.

I’d be lying if I said my feelings on this career move were totally positive. It’s something he really wants to do, and it’s certainly a job that SOMEBODY has to do. While police work isn’t the most dangerous job out there (statistically he’d be in more danger as a pizza delivery man), his physical safety is a concern as a cop in ways it hasn’t been in other jobs he’s had since we’ve been together. Even if his body never gets injured, there’s all so psychological effects of a job where you’re often dealing with a not so great segment of society. That can have an effect on people over time, and that worries me for him and it worries me for us. Divorce rates are sky-high for police officers. The flip side of that is that I know several police officers (of various age groups and locations) who, by all appearances, have great marriages and can’t think of any I know personally who are divorced. Plus, it’s not like he’s moving from some care-free job into being a cop. He’s spent the majority of his career since college working with kids who were “troubled” or “at risk” in some way. Basically he’s already been working with those who either are the younger criminals of today or are on the path to become the criminals of tomorrow (which is what, in part, his past jobs have been aimed at preventing). So, while it’s certainly a shift, perhaps it will not be quite so significant to him as it may be for other new cops.

I think those concerns are valid, but I also have a few that strike as silly, but yet, they’re still there. I have my concerns about him, as a gay man, joining a fairly “macho” job in a relatively conservative area. Maybe that’s a ridiculous concern but at the same time, he may one day end up in a situation where he has to trust a co-worker with his life. I don’t want any of them looking at him as an “other.” Probably the biggest surprise is the discomfort I feel when I realized, should he get the job, we’ll likely have a gun in the house. I’ve never had any desire whatsoever to own or shoot a gun, but I NEVER thought myself afraid of them. I’ve been around guns without any real concern, but for some reason the thought of one being in my home really makes me uncomfortable and I’m not even 100% sure why.

All of that said, I am genuinely rooting for him to get the job. It’s something he wants to do. It’s (can be) a very noble job. But it does bring up more concerns than the average job change does.

Not talking about the nation, only my family. The good news is I was spared from a small round of layoffs at work. With the school year ending and therefore my semester-long teaching gig (and the extra income that brought) coming to a close, losing my primary job now would have been even more devastating than it would have a few months ago. My (former) office-mate is gone. His skill set mostly revolved around print work. I do print and web. I suspect that’s the primary reason I still have a job (plus I had a little seniority on him for whatever that is worth these days).

The bad news is the city voted today on the budget for the year. The facility in which TheBoyfriend™ works isn’t part of that budget. All city employees are guaranteed new jobs within the city at equal pay rate (though not necessarily pay tier). TheBoyfriend™’s job was 80% funded by a federal grant (which the city will have to send back now that he has no building to do it in) which means he’s not a city employee. He’s been told (before the cut was made official) that he’d be given the same transfer deal given to city employees should they cut the funding, but so far we’ve seen nothing in writing. So now that the vote has happened we wait to see how good the word of his supervisor’s supervisor is.

It’s ironic that the President who took office at the beginning of 2009 ran a campaign on “change,” because that is what the year brought to my household. Obviously the biggest change for us has been buying our first house. That change alone brought along many other changes ranging from the minor to the major. It meant moving to a new city. For TheBoyfriend™, it meant switching to a different regional office within his job (and, unrelated to the move, he even got a promotion) and for me it meant working from home a few days a week and learning to deal with a substantially longer commute on the days I come in. A new city also means making news friends and a change in the dynamics of existing relationships with people who are no longer just 15 minutes away. A new house means an endless list of projects, repairs and improvements to make it our home in ways we never could do with places we’d rented in the past. A fenced in backyard meant a new furry four-legged creature was welcomed into the family. But if 2009 is the year of changes, it’s going out with a bang.

Yesterday TheBoyfriend™ found out that per a Medicaid audit of the agency he works for, he’s not technically qualified to work in the position he’s excelled at for the last 2 years. He and about a dozen of his co-workers who are in the same boat have 2 weeks to get their cases transitioned over to other therapists and then they’re unemployed. Apparently it’s happening to such agencies all over (my guess being that Medicaid is trying to cut costs in advance of the healthcare bill and therefore rules that were mostly ignored in the past are suddenly being strictly enforced). His agency wants him back, and if he can find some way to get 10 months clinical practice, he’s almost certainly has his old job back, which is good, but obviously the absolutely earliest that could happen is October, and we still need to eat between now and then. He made ~$4k more than me so it’s over half our income that just vanished.

I’d be lying if I said it was the type of news one WANTS to hear, particularly immediately following the purchase of a new home, a new dog, and at a time when it’s no secrets that jobs are hard to come by, but I’m trying to look at it as simply a change instead of a set back. A few weeks ago, I was contacted by an old college professor of mine who asked if I might be interested in coming back and teaching one of her classes for a semester while she was out to have a baby. While at the time, I looked at it primarily from the perspective of being an awesome experience and a phenomenal resume builder, now I’m grateful the opportunity for some extra income came when it did.

We also have a couple of older friends who TheBoyfriend™ does some yard and home renovation work for from time to time. One of them had mentioned to TheBoyfriend™ just a week ago that he’d like to start a renovation of his dining room, and the other one had said just before the holiday that TheBoyfriend™ was interested, he had as much yard work to do as TheBoyfriend™ could possibly do. While those sources may not provide as much income as his job did, they do provide a not too shabby source of income during the job hunt. Speaking of job hunting, he already found two positions in a related field that he could interview for and it’s only been a day. The downside is neither of those jobs would provide the clinical practice he’d need to get back into his old job. The agency he works for now (for the next two weeks at least) is telling him they might have a position opening in February he could do and would provide him with the clinical practice he needs to get his old job back. But that’s in February, and not a sure thing. Still, we’re hoping he’ll get some kind of severance, and coupled with everything else, I think we’ll be ok until he can find something new. It’s not gonna be an easy time, but I think we’ll survive it, and be all the stronger for making it through. I’ve found that if you believe things will work out and do your best, they usually do. We’ll make it.

Lately I feel like we’ve been hemorrhaging cash (new house, new fridge, new bed and getting estimate for new windows), so I’m not 100% sure that this is the best time to be adding an expense. That said, we had long said once we got a nice yard, we wanted to get a dog. I have wanted a Sheltie since I was in Elementary school. My school held a carnival and the music teacher, who was part of a dog training club, had he organization put on a dog show. I sat the Shetland Sheepdog and was in love from that point forward. In college, when I had told TheBoyfriend™ that the Sheltie was he looked at the breed and decided his preference among the standard color variations was the tri-color (he found this painting as the example of the perfect tri-color coloring).

Our new Puppy

When TheBoyfriend™ brought it up to me, I TRIED to be the grownup and consider the costs of adding a dog to the family, at a time when my gas expenses had just shot up thanks to a long commute, our mortgage is ever so slightly higher per month than rent had been (by about $20), and we have no idea what heating and cooling bills are going to be like here. On the other hand, he’s in the process of getting a raise, and his work gas expenses should go down. That’s not enough to completely alleviate my concerns about us getting another mouth to feed and vet bills to pay, but I at least agreed to go see the puppy, and in all honesty, I knew that was as good as agreeing to buy it.

So now we have a puppy, though we can’t bring it home for another week. Which is good because we need to get a few things for it and decide on a name. I’m extremely picky about pet names. I prefer uncommon but easily recognizable and pronounceable non-human names (though an uncommon human name is sometimes acceptable). Several times the lady we’re purchasing the dog from mentioned that it the coincidence on coloration must mean it was “karma” that we have the dog (I think she meant “fate” because “karma” doesnt’ really make sense to me in that context). I kinda seized on “Karma” as a potential name, but apparently the rest of the world seems to think that Karma is too feminine for a boy dog. We’ve been looking at names and getting suggestions all night, so far our top picks in no particular order are Coda, Zeke, or Mystic. Any suggestions?

Sorry to get your hopes up. This isn’t the post I’d most like to be writing under that title, but I found it amusing all the same. Yesterday, TheBoyfriend™ and I went to submit our official loan application (for our already pre-approved loan). One of the forms we had to sign (I’m seriously considering getting a signature stamp made…) was a form that really was meaningless except in the instance of a random IRS audit, at which point it would serve as proof that we had gotten credit jointly.

The funny part was the label on the line I signed on. It was labeled “Spouse.” So there you have it, I’ve signed my name as TheBoyfriend™’s spouse, and I kinda liked it.

Front of house

The front porch

The foyer

The kitchen

The backyard from the back porch

Of course there was one other concern that I had regarding getting out of our old place. Namely, what if we needed back in! I mean, there are things that can fall through in the best laid plans. For instance if something big showed up on the home inspection and our land lord had already found a new tenant for the house we’re in now, we would need to find something in an impossibly short period of time or find ourselves homeless. Turns out, like every other concern that has popped up in this process, the solution has popped up just as quickly and effortlessly. When we went to give 60 days notice to our landlord, we voiced the concern. Turns out, they want to put a new roof on the house after we’re out anyways (side note: that’s good, it needs it). There for, they won’t start advertising the place until after we move, giving them time to install a new roof before the next tenant moves in. Meaning, if something does fall through with our house purchase, our current place will still be available for us!

It’s really been amazing how everything is just falling into place for us on this. We’ve placed an offer, been countered, and accepted the counter (though we haven’t yet heard back from the seller). It appears the only other obstacle left to cross is the home inspection. Wish us continuing good luck!

Longtime readers will know that TheBoyfriend™ and I got some property for a VERY good price awhile back and it’s been our intention to build our dream house on it. That is still our plan however we don’t want to build less than what we want on the property (because once it’s built, it’s there, and it’s not like you can just knock it down later and live in a tent until you get the new one built), and right now, we simply can’t afford to put the house we want there (not that we want some huge mansion, but I’m guessing building the house we want is maybe $40-50K above our current budget. In the meantime, we’ve been dumping our money into rent payments that don’t do any more than put a roof over our heads for another month and fund our landlord’s retirement. Neither of us are that financially minded, but we’ve come to the conclusion that THAT is probably not the best way we could be using what money we’ve got.

So as I said in my last post, TheBoyfriend™ and I have been going to the gym for two months today. And I have to say, I’m really noticing the changes. My arms have plumped up VERY rapidly (who’d have thought that I would have ever had someone, and not TheBoyfriend™, tell me I had “nice arms!”), and the relatively small love handles I had before are now all but gone. I’m still waiting to see some real results in the area I’m most excited to see change, my chest. Yet, every once in awhile, when the light is right, I do see where it’s starting ever so slowly to develop. A few things I’ve noticed:

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted anything, but it’s been a crazy last few weeks. TheBoyfriend™ and I were out having dinner with friends on the Friday before last when I got a call from my mother. Turns out my step-grandfather was in intensive care and wasn’t expected to last the weekend. I didn’t speak to her long since we were out with folks and there wasn’t much I could do there anyways. The next morning, TheBoyfriend™ and I headed to the gym (we just began a membership but that’s another post), and I decided I’d be sure to call my mom after we got back to see how things were going. We got back, and I had lunch and was just about to call when my phone rang. It was my sister. Our step-grandfather had passed and she’d been asked to call and let me know as (obviously) my parents were very busy with the various proceedings that follow a death. To be clear before obligatory condolences begin rolling in, I’m of course saddened by his death, but being that we weren’t particularly close, I have a much stronger feeling sympathy for my step-dad (who I AM close with), than a sense of grief myself.