Dolphin’s Dock

Warning, this post may not be for the prudish.

Ever have one of those incredibly random and bizarre ideas that get stuck in your head and won’t leave until you do something about it?  I did about a week ago when it occurred to be that I’d never worn a thong.  Silly as it may be, I had a great deal of difficulty pushing the thought from my mind so I next time I was in Wal-Mart (for other things, I didn’t go specifically to buy a thong), I picked up a pack of thongs to try out.

For those who’ve never worn one, I have to say first that having what amounts to a string riding up your backside is surprisingly not particularly uncomfortable.  I mean I probably wouldn’t wear one to Jiu-Jitsu class or on a hike through the woods, but sitting at a desk all day?  Not a big deal.  In fact I think I was more keenly aware of my bare bottom being in contact with the inside of my pants than I was with the back of the thong.

The front is a different story.  I’m sure not all thongs are created equal and the Wal-Mart, try-it-on-a-whim brand I got is not the highest in quality (and probably about the lowest in cost), but I think the manufacturing team for this particular brand must be made up entirely of lesbians.  Really, never having seen a man nude is the only acceptable reason to design a male thong with a flat front.  I know the material is somewhat stretchy, but there should not be a half inch (or more) gap between the band of the leg hole and my actual leg.

Of course, being in a thong will make you feel sexy.  That is of course if you avoid mirrors like the plaque until your thong is safely tucked underneath a pair of pants.  One look in the mirror will quickly remind you that feeling sexy and looking sexy are different things entirely.  If you’ve got the body of the guy on the packaging, grab the closest mirror.  If you don’t, just enjoy feeling sexy without taking the risk of actually looking at yourself.